Internalized Trauma Notes: No need for pencil and paper
If you have ever been deposed in a legal hearing then you probably know the intensity and the depth of questioning coming from the other side. They want to know everything and don't mind asking personal questions that are meant to help them win their case in an actual court trial. It can be chilling and startling at the same time. But, in this deposition I asked that the question be framed so that I can try to answer. This particular question asked "where are your written notes that pertain to all of your mental reflections and anything else that related to this case?" When I responded that I threw them away and besides, I didn't need any written notes for the acts that were committed against me. Then I waxed poetic, "I lived the pain, I experienced the pain, and the events are, literally, written within the very bowels of my human existence. The the trauma is so great that I can't sleep, eat, or work within the actual drama reappearing in my mind--