Internalized Trauma Notes: No need for pencil and paper

If you have ever been deposed in a legal hearing then you probably know the intensity and the depth of questioning coming from the other side.  They want to know everything and don't mind asking personal questions that are meant to help them win their case in an actual court trial.  It can be chilling and startling at the same time.  But, in this deposition I asked that the question be framed so that I can try to answer.  This particular question asked "where are your written notes that pertain to all of your mental reflections and anything else that related to this case?"


When I responded that I threw them away and besides, I didn't need any written notes for the acts that were committed against me.  Then I waxed poetic, "I lived the pain, I experienced the pain, and the events are, literally, written within the very bowels of my human existence.  The the trauma is so great that I can't sleep, eat, or work within the actual drama reappearing in my mind--the instigators, the acts, the consequences, the suffering, they are all there all of the time".  


So I kindly requested that the interrogator stop asking for irretrievable physical notes.


Some reader might be asking how in the hell can you write such magnificent (just saying) articles without reviewing some physical notes?  Or maybe some English scholar is wondering how can you not abide by the rules of writing that has been ascribe to the literary greats since forever?


My response is simple 'oral history'.


Most blacks (or any other traumatized people) who suffered during slavery didn't have the luxury of jotting down physical notes to help them remember the cruelty and shame that came with the consequences of being the chattel of other men.  They were whipped, beaten and many were murdered and only their whispers pain,, and cries, that often drudge from the deepest valleys to the highest mountains, miraculously have never lost through the centuries.  Those unwritten cries of misery and pain still remain within the annals of history as the stories often told over and over again by the griots, wanderers. They are recorded physically by historians who were committed to making sure that the true living life stories of millions who didn't leave any written notes would never be lost into the dustbins of time.

" May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer". (Psalm 9:14)

Today, where online privacy is being invaded by acceptable law and is being massively promoted by giants such as Google, Yahoo and other gatherers of private information, one must be as vigilant as ever to guard as much as possible their privacy.  They are looking for notes that we have personally transmitted to our love ones, our business associates, to our friends.  They are gathering URL's, emails, browsing history, addresses, family information and much more.  It may seem somewhat surreal, but indeed this is the reality that we find ourselves in today.

And, I believe that proprietary info like bank account numbers and credit card information is accessible, as well. If  society ever becomes a complete fascist state, then that information is there for the asking.

The Freedom of Information Act is just what it says, someone can request personal information on just about anything and anyone without much of a hassle.  Every time you are jotting down or recording notes either offline or online that you think it going into your very own hidden archive folder, the same notes can be mined by the powerful online engines that directs today's mass communication or by a vigilant investigator. Bloggers are even finding that they can't comment on stories without the prerequisite of giving permission for the same engines to freely mine the information on their personal computer.  And, I believe that proprietary info like bank account numbers and credit card information is accessible, as well. If  society ever becomes a complete fascist state, then that information is there for the asking.

"Keep your heart with diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life."  (Proverbs 4:23).

Some institutions, including government, already have access to your funds and can (and will) garnish at will.  It is so pitiful to see this friend walking around with $5000 on her just to to keep it from being garnished from her bank account.


Never has there been a need in time for the masses to start learning the art of unwritten history.  Perjury is no small thing.  If you say that you went to the restroom and they find out that your dairy says different, you've committed perjury, which is a crime.


"Did you throw your notes away and, if you did where and when did you throw them?" asked the interrogator.  I visually showed that I was thinking about the question, but at the same time I looked very confused about the question and wondering silently "why are my written notes so important?".


I also thought about how I was taught as a child to be truthful at all times.  Yes, I knew that I had made some written notes somewhere and had used them, like any living human creature, to refer to in helping me juggle my finite memory cells.  But as I thought I suddenly had a epiphany.  All of a sudden I remembered without notes, or sticky pads the times that we are living in (prophesy fulfilled) and the scripture came to me that said: " May the words of mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, 

O Lord, my Rock and Redeemer".  (Psalm 9:14).  Then another:  "Keep your heart with l diligence, For out of it springs the issues of life." (Proverbs 4:23).

But, it all seems like a contradiction.  How can one really look to the only safekeeping of their thoughts being 'the heart'?  Or how can material resources also become hidden?


Well, on the first one I suggest that people start working on developing storing vital info in their hearts.  Create a daily exercise.  On the second, about material hiding, I suggest that one pray, without cease, that God will help them.  This may indeed be developing into the last war, and, the word to the wise is sufficient.