This just in: Bullies have good reasons to bully

In an recent article found in Yahoo from Robbin Nixon of of Livecom it appears that bullies have a good apologist for their tendencies for wanting to bully others.

Nixon writes: "Kids who get bullied and snubbed by peers may be more likely to have problems in other parts of their lives, past studies have shown. And now researchers have found at least three factors in a child's behavior that can lead to social rejection."

He goes on further to proclaim that it is not the bully abnormal social integration but it is the bullied who should consider changing his social mantra, so he won't get bullied. He states: "The factors involve a child's inability to pick up on and respond to nonverbal cues from their pals".

All of this is based on new studies and reflections coming from child experts like Richard Lavoie who reasons that social rejection is the underlying motivation where children are most likely to over compensate for wanting to be accepted by their peers. "They don't understand the basic rules of operating in society and their mistakes are usually unintentional", he said.

In two studies, McKown and colleagues had a total of 284 children, ages 4
to 16 years old, watch movie clips and look at photos before judging the
emotions of the actors based on their facial expressions, tones of voice and
body postures. Various social situations were also described and the children were questioned about appropriate responses.

The results were then compared to parent/teacher accounts of the participants' friendships and social behavior.

Kids who had social problems also had problems in at least one of three different areas of nonverbal communication: reading nonverbal cues; understanding their social meaning; and coming up with options for resolving a social conflict.

More or less, the consensus on about the culprit seems be 'missing cues from bullies', cues that normal socialized people just don't miss and hence, don't get bullied.

On a personal note, I considered myself as a bullied child coming up in life, especially during grade school. Whether I was bullied more than the other guy is irrelevant. However, in an attempt to be honest in trying to reconcile past social shortcomings when growing up, I reckon I had quite a few miscues in my verbal and non-verbal exchanges with others (And, still do). Maybe the bullier took my gentleness as a sign of weakness, or maybe my slight build (when younger) was an invitation to a larger kid's conquest.

Maybe the best place where playing the bully can be considered a fair game is in competitive sports or in a war zone. However, there will be (or should be) fair rules of engagement.

Today, the bully pulpit is symbolic in every area of life from the home and work environment to local, regional and world conflicts, and from the tax collectors to the credit card vipers, it appears that (will talk more about in another article) bullying is acceptable in today's world.

I don't pretend to know for sure. However, this I do know is that no one should be given a free pass (or a reason) to bully others. I feel that it is their aggressive behavior that should be more under the microscope.

At the same time, I agree that some kids do acquire better coping skills than others when growing up. They are more successful at gaining friends and being just like everyone else. But, again, that give no reason for anyone to be licensed to bully others.

The study here stated the bullied are most likely to manifest anti-social behavior in life ( In addition to causing mental health problems, bullying and social isolation can increase the likelihood a child will get poor grades, drop out of school, or develop substance abuse problems, the researchers say).

Once again, if I reflect on my personal dairy of the bully, they are not immune from developing mental health problems et al (maybe because of the cause and effect of their bullying?)

Say, am not a member of the Bullied AA or know if their is a Bully AA, but I do know this, that no matter how different someone is it is not a cause to inflict pain on them. Jesus was quite different too, but that shouldn't be a reason for hanging him on a cross,and, as He hung there had to tolerate the vicious cries (verbal and nonverbal) of those who didn't get it.

Maybe the best place where playing the bully can be considered a fair game is in competitive sports or in a war zone. However, there will be (or should be) fair rules of engagement. The law of preservation will sooner or later favor the bullied. What goes up must come down.

People bullied Jesus as He hung on the cross. On the third day He arose.